Holding On For Dear Life

On a weekly basis I find myself holding on for dear life. There are weeks that have ups and down, demanding days, and critical decisions to be made. In all of these circumstances I find my grip tightening with more resolve to hold on. But I know that my grip is part of the problem.

One of the pressing challenges in pastoring a church plant has been letting go of my selfish-ambition, my set timeline, and my entitlement to convenience.  I’m beginning to understand why Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:24-25). 

Somehow I was trying to see life spring up in a community without being the kernel that falls to the ground and dies. So I’m no longer holding on for dear life. I’m actually laying my life down.

“Dead soul, your Spring of life, is my dying side:

There die with me to live: to live in you I died.”

The Divine Love by Phineas Fletcher